Get organized

1. Thesis (My purpose in writing this essay): I want to study Business at the University of Oklahoma.

2. Reason/Support #1: OU offers an opportunity to start and run a company while in college.

Reason/Support#2: The football team is great.

Reason/Support#3: I want to participate in the Student Investment Fund and buy stocks and bonds before I become a stock broker in the real world.

Reason/Support#4: I can impress employers and my family with a degree from OU.

3. Which statements do not support the thesis statement?

The football team is great.
I can impress employers and my family with a degree from OU.

4. Elaboration for Support#1: OU offers an opportunity to start and run a company while in college.

One of my goals is to start a company and give back to my community in the form of jobs.

I read about OU’s program, Integrated Business Core, which teaches groups of students to start a business from scratch, sell products to the university community, and operate the business for a profit.

Elaboration for Support#2: I want to participate in Student Investment Fund and buy stocks and bonds before I become a stock broker in the real world.

My goal is to become a stockbroker so that I can get big paychecks.

Story about how I have made careless mistakes with money. If I can learn to wisely invest in the stock, bond, and futures markets before I work with clients’ life savings, this can be prevented.

5. Which statement does not support the thesis statement?

My goal is to become a stockbroker so that I can get big paychecks.

Jennifer Ledwith is the owner of Scholar Ready, an educational services company. Are you looking for one-to-one tutoring, group tutoring, or practice materials? Call Jennifer. She manages the college application process for busy families, conducts personal essay writing workshops, prepares students for college entrance exams, and tutors math. She can be reached at (713) 553-6557 and jdledwith@scholaready.com.