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Essays |
"My daughter is so excited about starting
college. She won 5 scholarships, including
the Smart Financial award. Jennifer, I
highly recommend you to anyone who needs
help writing those essays. You are more than
welcome to use me as a reference."
—Gwen Taylor, Parent |
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Q:
What
are
admission
and
scholarship
committees
looking
for
in
my
essay?
A:
Colleges
look
for
you
in
the
essay.
Beyond
SAT
scores
and
community
service
hours,
who
are
you?
Your
dream
college
reads
thousands
of
essays
to
choose
their
dream
students.
These
students
will
contribute
to
campus
life,
plan
to
graduate,
and
donate
money
to
the
school.
Universities,
charities,
churches,
corporations,
and
others
provide
scholarships.
Scholarship
committees
give
thousands
of
dollars
to
students
with
accomplishments
and
goals
that
mesh
well
with
their
organizational
objectives.
For
example,
community
service
is
the
backbone
of
charitable
organizations.
Be
prepared
to
vividly
demonstrate
your
volunteerism.
So,
how
do
you
prove
that
you
belong
at
Dream
College?
How
do
you
win
the
scholarships?
- Write at least an hour everyday.
- Read at least an hour everyday.
- Consider your audience.
- Completely answer the essay question.
- Use correct grammar.
- Tell the committee something new. Because they read your application, they already know that you are Secretary of the National Honor Society.
- Read the essay aloud.
- Request someone to proofread the essay.
U.S.A.Y.
Essay
Writing
Scholar
Ready
instills
writing
skills
for
three
purposes
—
admissions
essays,
scholarship
essays,
and
college-level
compositions—
with
one
service.
Usage:
Grammar
Style:
Word
choice,
rhetorical
devices,
sentence
structure
Audience:
Grabbing
their
attention,
tone,
elaboration
You:
Choosing
a
topic,
organizing
your
life
experiences,
brainstorming,
self-editing
techniques
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You
can't
hide |
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“5-4-3-2-1.
Ready or
not,
here I
come!”
exclaims
your
fearless
tutor in
a daily
game of
Hide and
Seek. |
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You see,
I love
one-on-one
tutoring
because
the
student
can’t
hide. On
the
surface,
little
Lisa
needs to
improve
her
writing.
Oh, but
when I
open my
eyes,
and
start
searching,
the big
secret
is out:
Lisa
struggles
with
reading
comprehension. |
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Look in
the
mirror.
You are
rocking
that
outfit.
Your
shoes,
clothes,
and
accessories
form a
cohesive
picture
and
convey
who you
are to
others.
How do
you know
that you
look
cute?
You look
at In
Style
and
Essence
Magazines,
you
glance
at
pictures
of
clothes
on the
web, and
you
visit
clothing
stores
to
develop
your
fashion
literacy.
Now, if
you saw
a woman
wearing
plaid
culottes
(yes I
am going
there),
polka
dot
tights,
and a
hot pink
shirt,
you
would
say,
“She
looks
crazy.”
That
clown
suit
clashes
with
your
fashion
literacy. |
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Reading
comprehension
works
the same
way.
When you
read
professional
writing,
you
develop
your
literacy.
You
begin to
understand
how
words
and
punctuation
can
blend
together
to
produce
a
symphony
that
communicates
your
thoughts.
Without
enough
reading
comprehension,
you’ll
have a
tough
time
developing
your
ideas as
a
writer.
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In honor
of
today,
the
National
Day on
Writing,
develop
your
reading
comprehension.
Follow
these
steps
for each
chapter
that you
read: |
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1.
Make
sure
that you
understand
all of
the
words in
the
chapter.
It’s ok
to read
with a
dictionary
at your
side. |
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2.
Understand
the
setting
of the
chapter.
What is
the time
period?
Where is
the
action
taking
place? |
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3.
Who are
the
characters?
What are
they
doing?
How are
they
interacting
with
each
other? |
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4.
Understand
the
purpose
of each
chapter. |
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5.
Understand
the main
idea. |
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Thanks
to Annie
Harris,
Reading
Specialist
and
elementary
school
teacher,
for
these
tips. |
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Am I done yet? |
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When will your essay attain perfection?
Never. Writing is not Algebra; no formula
guarantees a great paragraph. Although I
have edited a variety of admission and
scholarship essays, the winning
compositions share several traits.
Outstanding essays possess the following: |
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1.
Only 1 topic per 500 words |
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2.
Logical organization |
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3.
Vivid examples to support the thesis
statement |
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4.
Sentence variety |
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5.
Limited grammatical errors |
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6.
An introduction that interests anyone who
just spent 5 hours reading 100 essays |
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7.
A conclusion that leaves the audience
wanting more |
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Improve your essay in an hour |
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1. Before
you submit your essay, read the composition aloud.
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2. Have a
teacher, tutor, or other trustworthy person proofread
your essay. |
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3. Remove
any variation of the following from your personal essay:
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Q:
Jennifer,
I read
"Improve your essay in an Hour". My son is applying to
Morehouse College. |
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From the six topics, he has chosen to
respond to this one: |
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"A range of academic interests, personal
perspectives, and life experiences adds much
to the educational mix. Given your personal
background, describe an experience that
illustrates what you would bring to the
diversity in a college community, or an
encounter that demonstrated the importance
of diversity to you." |
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Is there a correct response to this topic?
Could you give me some tips on how he can
organize a paper so broad in scope? —
Stumped by Structure |
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This topic is similar to a question Texas A
& M University asked its undergraduate
applicants in the past. According to one of
A &M's recruiters, the purpose of this
diversity topic is to glimpse a potential
Aggie-in-the-making's views toward different
types of people.
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While there is no correct response, please
encourage your son to avoid negative
stereotypes about people. Many other
students — his competitors — will be
probably be submitting essays about Barack
Obama. Emphasize the importance of
originality. Once he chooses a topic, he can
use the following tips to structure the
personal essay. |
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7
Steps to Organize a Personal Essay:
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1.
Write a strong thesis statement.
He
may be limited to 500 words. Choose
one experience or encounter to write about; avoid cramming
all experiences into one
essay. |
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2.
Jot down 4 reasons that support the thesis
statement. |
3.
Do the 4 reasons have anything to do with
the thesis statement?
He
will distract his audience (scholarship
and admissions committees) if he strays from
the topic. Eliminate anything unrelated to
the thesis. |
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4.
Elaborate on the reasons.
Back up the reasons with personal lessons,
goals, sights, sounds, smells, tastes, or
feelings. |
5. Does the
elaboration support the thesis statement?
He
will distract his audience if he strays
from the topic. Eliminate anything unrelated
to the thesis. |
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6.
Remember to include an introduction and a
conclusion. |
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7.
Did he spend 15 minutes on this process
and give up? Work on Steps 1, 2, 3, 4, and
5 for at least 90 minutes. The ideas will
come. |
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Click here for Get Organized, a sample
outline. My thanks to Patti Swinson for
the format. |
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Hi Ms. Jennifer, |
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I'm applying for scholarships at the
University of Texas-Austin and at Texas A &
M University. UT's scholarship deadline is
December 1, and A & M's scholarship deadline
is December 15. Each school's scholarship
competition requires 2 essays (Topic A and
Topic B from the Texas Common Application). Essay B challenges me because I
don't know what to write about. Here is the
prompt: |
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"Choose an issue of importance to you – the
issue could be personal, school related,
local, political, or international in scope
– and write an essay in which you explain
the significance of that issue to yourself,
your family, your community, or your
generation." |
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How do I choose a topic that will help me
win ?- Aisha W. |
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1. List 20 potential issues. Indicate the
scope and stakeholder of each
issue. For example: Houston's lax
enforcement of drunk driving is a local
issue that impacts the citizens of my
hometown, Houston, Texas. Granted,
your issue may impact more than one of the
following groups of stakeholders: your
community, your generation, your family, and
yourself. At this point, don't worry about
that. Simply list who each issue influences.
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2. Choose 5
issues that have the most significance. Ask
yourself, "Which issue did I learn the most
from?" While presidential politics, trade
deficits, and sub prime lending
sound impressive, and believe me, have
several teachable moments, choose a topic
that only Aisha can write about. |
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3.
Write a mini-essay (5 sentences) for each of
the 5 issues. Remember to emphasize the
learning experience, the scope, and the
stakeholder of each topic. |
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4. Read the mini-essays. Which composition
had only one group of stakeholders?
Furthermore, which composition was the
easiest to write? Congratulations, you've
found your topic. |
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I can show you better than I can
tell you |
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Youth
is a season of firsts. First job, first trip abroad,
first music lesson, first community service project —
these are the elements of a teenager's life. |
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These
experiences allow scholarship committees a glimpse into
an applicant's life beyond a grade point average and SAT
score. Young Johnny, let your audience feel your
struggle of learning Karate. Young Tasha, allow your
audience to explore the bird cages as you did during
your zoo internship. |
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As a writer, your mantra should be:
"I'll take you there." |
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Show, and not tell, to take your readers
there. |
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Telling:
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"The man smelled bad." |
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Showing: |
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"For the months Andy endured radiation to treat his
cancerous lymph node, he couldn't bear to
wear deodorant. But this aversion to manly-smelling
antiperspirant didn't stop him from doing things a Right
Guard Man could do. |
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The sixty-year-old, who was hairier than any baboon at
the zoo, lived his life. It was a sweaty life. He mowed
the lawn, and gnats left the stuffed garbage cans to
follow what they believed to be a decomposing snack.
Andy watered the lawn and fought off the swarm of
buzzard flies. Small children with keen noses and poor
manners taunted "Here comes Mr. Stinky Pants" as Andy
worked. Andy's wife agreed with the kids. She destroyed
the pants. Their washing machine was no match for the
stench." |
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Which man
smelled worse? |
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Q: Jennifer, I heard a speech you gave
in which you discussed teens' writing
styles. I couldn't help but to nod when you
said that half of teens carry the lack of
grammar and punctuation from their personal
lives into their school assignments.
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My son's essay about "To Kill a Mockingbird"
included the characters' names in lower
case. He doesn't realize that spell check
and grammar check on the computer won't
catch everything. He even used an
abbreviation in an essay for a summer
program application. He wrote BTW (by the
way) like he was sending a text message to
one of his little friends. How can I ensure
that my son, a high school sophomore, uses
an appropriate writing style for schoolwork?
— Dedicated Dad |
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Dear Dedicated Dad, |
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The abbreviations, slang, and woeful grammar
in teenagers' personal communications are
here to stay. According to "Writing,
Technology, and Teens," a Pew Internet and
American Life Study, 85% of youth ages 12
through 17 use electronic communication for
personal reasons. This means that nearly 9
out of 10 members of every varsity squad are
texting each other on cell phones,
e-mailing, or updating their MySpace and
Facebook profiles. |
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What does this combination of writing and
technology mean? Almost 2 out of 5 of
teenagers in the study admit to using
abbreviations like BTW and LOL (laughing out
loud) in schoolwork. 25% of the teens also
have used emoticons in academic writing.
What do you think happens to the 1 out of 4
applications to Howard University with
smiley faces on them? |
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When your son communicates, he must ask,
"Who is my audience?" When writing for
academic purposes, he must be vigilant about
grammar and word choice.
Here are 4 ways he can prevent the
electronic slang from slipping into
excellent speech: |
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Request that a trusted individual reads
the composition. Inform the reader about
the intended purpose and audience of the
writing.
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If a phrase, sentence, or word appears
awkward, don't guess at its correct usage.
Keep a dictionary and "Elements of Style"
(Williams Strunk and E.B. White) handy.
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Read the composition aloud.
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Repeat steps 1 through 3 as often as
possible.
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Q: I'm currently a high school student, and
I want to study electrical engineering in
college. I definitely need to apply for
scholarships, but I hesitate when writing
essays. My first language is Spanish. I
struggle with essays. Since I'm an
immigrant, does the essay matter when I
apply for college scholarships?
— Essay-challenged engineer |
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A: Before you apply for a scholarship, learn
about the award's citizenship requirements.
Then, verify your immigration status.
Contact the admissions counselors at your
prospective schools, explain your trouble
with essays, and ask the college
representatives about special programs for
immigrants. |
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Work with an English teacher or tutor to
improve your writing skills. Clearly
expressing yourself will increase your
chances of success as a college student and
as an engineer.
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Q: Ms. Jennifer, are there any online
resources that I can use to check my
grammar? — Reneé L. |
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A: Go to
http://www.bartleby.com/reference/ for
free guides to English usage. |
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$13,000
on the web |
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What does an
award-winning essay look like? The
University of Oklahoma gave me almost
$13,000 for this essay.
Click here.
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Q: Ms. Jennifer, on your website, it says
that colleges are looking for "you" in the
essay. I got your e-mail regarding how to
organize an essay with only 1 topic. I'm
trying to figure out how this applies to my
daughter, Keisha, a junior in high school.
She is a B student and loves being captain
of her drill team. Keisha wants to major in
dance in college. My friends' children write
about winning engineering competitions and
building computers. Is dancing a good enough
topic to write about for admissions
committees?
— A. Miller |
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A: Absolutely. Encourage Keisha to focus on
what makes her outstanding — dance. Her extracurricular and volunteer
activities should center around dance.
Encourage her to offer private lessons in
her spare time, and hold free recitals for
the community. Keisha should record her
experiences in a journal. When September
arrives, she can meet those essay questions
with compelling topics.
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